It's a new day and a glum looking Sam is ignoring Lexy's phone calls. Lexy is waiting on the bridge for their daily run. I'm actually in withdrawal not seeing those two bright red and heaving like maniacs. What's going on?
Sadie and Tess have some morning banter about the psycho make-up artist who is now stalking Tess's Facebook wall and Sadie's love triangle. Sam shows up at the house and marches straight into the living room. After declaring that she now knows about Cat and Frankie she demands to know everything both girls know. Tess tries to settle down the situation while Sadie sticks to her guns. Lexy arrives home and tries to intervene, standing up to Sam and having her room-mates corner. Sadie then crassly tells Lexy that Tess fancies her, warning her that she might wake up one morning to T licking her face. I'm sure she's been doing that anyway, Lexy looks very fresh faced when she wakes up.
Nora and Ed meet up with Tess and Lexy at a local cafe. Ed invites Tess to a book launch for a colleague and she declines claiming it to be understandably lame. Lexy, on the other hand, enjoys the idea of free booze and tells Ed she is up for it. Cue Tess shrugging off her previous comments and cooly stating that she has changed her mind. Lexy's puzzled look is meant to tell us that Sadie's words are whirling around in her head.
Lexy arrives at work and is stalked by a creepy tall man with terrible hair. She has a quickie with Bea in a storage cupboard, as you do, and goes on about her day. She tells Man friend that Tess fancies her and she's unsure of what to do. That storage cupboard must be a cesspit. Ten minutes later Man Friend is doing some handy-work in there with a young blonde hunk. It must be an NHS branch.
Sadie is at work at Jo's gallery of extremely pompous art pieces. She is left to price up canvases of block colours that look as if my four year old cousin drank finger paint and hurled all over them. Lauren arrives at the gallery and Sadie finds it fun to play with her anxiety. Jo comes downstairs and the power couple go off for lunch. Sadie spends her afternoon swivelling around her desk chair and tips her coffee mug all over one of the crappy paintings. She attempts to wipe it clean but ends up making it look as if it's covered in poo. A very clever metaphor.
Lexy is wheeling an old biddy around and is confronted by the bad hair-day man. He threatens her and she soon realises he is the stalker. He shouts at her to leave his wife alone and it soon dawns on her that Bea is not an out and proud gay living up the open-relationship dream, but a middle aged bored house-wife. Shock! Horror! Oh and she has a kid. Just a side note. Lexy confronts Bea who looks mortified. Be a is unable to give a good explanation and Lexy runs off in a tiff.
Sam is back at work and looking harder and angrier than ever. She has to interrogate a junkie who has been off his 'meds' for a while. She pulls out a bag of dope that he was found carrying and tries to get information out of him. She quickly loses her cool and attacks him, getting her kicked out of the room. She has no remorse and it is obvious she is losing her mind. Add that to access to a gun and we have a major problem.
Back at the gallery, Sadie gets a customer who likes to touch his goatee a lot, which means he has a lot of money. She works his ego and shows him a "one-off" piece, the poo covered canvas. He loves it.
Lexy goes home and finds Tess sitting on her laptop. She tells Tess that her and Bea are done and Tess is ecstatic. She offers to cheer Lexy up and and it looks like there might be something happening here. They share beers and thoughts on psycho lesbians, a true bonding experience.
Sadie finishes work and shows up at Lauren and Jo's pad. Jo is still at work and Lauren looks like a deer in headlights. She invites Sadie in and the two start to have a fumble, it's all hair and leopard print bras. Jo drives into the driveway and Sadie makes a swift exit. Is there nothing she can't get away with? Super Lesbian. Jo even sings her praises! Oh wait, she didn't leave, she re-appears and tells Jo she came to give back some money she short changed from the register. Like I said, Super Lesbian.
Tess and Lexy are drunk on beer and carbs and are making lists of qualities they are looking for in a partner. Sadie walks in and takes a seat next to the randy couple, Tess looks annoyed at the third wheel and Lexy decides to go to bed. Damn!
Lauren is at work and decides to cancel all her day's appointments in order to meet up with Sadie. I think she likes being reckless, even her hair is so straight edged.
Ed goes to visit Sam and see how she is doing. She is pretty cold and Ed tries to make her feel cared for. She tells Ed about Cat and Frankie and he looks pretty stunned. Clueless boy.
Lauren meets up with Sadie, who has exchanged her leopard print bra for a leopard print top. Best quote of the episode "If anyone I know sees us, tell them you're my niece." Bang! Who do they get to write this stuff? Comedy angels from the land of laughs and honey? The two go to a sex shop and do the dirty in the changing room with Lauren dressed strangely as some sort of maid? or a cupcake lady? and Sadie is dressed in PVC Militaria chic.
Ed meets up with Nora and tries to talk to her about his day. Nora gives him her dry-cleaning ticket and asks him to run her errands. Finally, we see that Nora isn't that angelic after all!
After their odd romp, Sadie and Lauren have dinner at a fancy restaurant and Sadie convinces her to run out on the cheque. Oh the exhilaration!
At the launch party, Ed tells Tess about his meeting with Sam. He is obviously troubled about it and unaware of how to feel. Lexy arrives and points out Tess's blind-date having a drink with Nora. Tess makes a swift exit up to the roof and Lexy follows her with a green jug of booze and a life size cut out of a superhero. She tells Tess that the previous night was lovely and the two look at each other all smiles. Tess builds up the courage to tell Lexy how she feels but gets interrupted by a phone call from Hugh, her theatre mate. He is outside, drunk and says he needs her help on a mission. Tess is in a dilemma, she wants to run back to the roof but this buffoon wants her to help him drive over to his ex's house. Tess does the noble thing as usual and offers to drive him as long as it doesn't take too long. No Tess! Put him in a cab! They arrive at the home and Tess realises he wanted to give his dog a birthday present, really? REALLY? It all goes tits up and the police arrive. Needless to say, the two get questioned for a ages and their car is taken in for expired tax discs.
Ed is accosted by fans and is feeling good about himself when Nora, bored to death, steals his limelight again. Grow some balls Ed and dump the dumpling!
Sam is at home drinking her pain away when she finds the bag of dope from earlier in her pocket. She uses her police ID card to make some lines on the table and begins the sniff-a-thon.
Tess runs back to the book launch to find it closed and witnesses Ed and Nora having an argument about Lord of the RIngs. He finally tells her exactly what he thinks and dumps her there and then.
Sam arrives at a club and looking laid back starts checking out the ladies. She downs a scotch and looks at a bunch of perky bums. She sees a young lady leaning seductively on a speaker and wanders over. Suddenly the two are at home having really awkward sex. It looks as if Sam is sawing a tree branch. Or making bread.
Lauren and Sadie are on a boat in the canal talking about how unpredictable Sadie's life is. Lauren feels envious and tries to convince her that she hasn't always been this dull.
Sam and the Club-Girl are having a drink on the bed. She kicks the girl out and tells her that she is "just wrong." Keep coming up with lines like that and you could be the next Frankie!
Tess arrives home and sees Lexy asleep on the couch. She is gutted. Gutted! She covers Lexy with a blanket and Lexy touches her hand tenderly. This is so sweet it is making my cheeks hurt! Do we think they'll get together? They better, I can't take much more of this!