Six Reasons Not To Date The Cool Girl

rihanna-party-girlWe all know that one girl who is just effortlessly cool. So cool, that her mere presence makes your ego shrink to the size of a pea...


She probably has a 'k' after the number on her Instagram followers list. Maybe she models, or hangs out with musicians. She'll always have some amazing, adventurous story to tell and whenever she talks, the whole room is all ears. You've secretly pined after this girl for an unacceptable amount of time, along with the rest of her army of loyal followers.

She probably knows an ungodly amount about a particular band, like The Smiths, who she's constantly listening to on vinyl. There’s nothing wrong with The Smiths, obviously. That was just an example to help you identify some common traits of said Cool Girl. Some of the things she says would be horrendously cringeworthy coming from anyone else, but for some reason, coming from her mouth, they just ooze coolness. You like, went to Prada and used the word 'Prada' as a verb? That’s SO cool (and you honestly thought it was, when she said it). She comes in a million different variations, but the point is that, basically, she's flawless in your eyes. Do you know the one I'm talking about? Yes. Yes, you do.

The Cool Girl is great fun - don't get me wrong. On nights out, she’s the life of the party. You'll always have a good time with her, that is, until you date her.


Christina Caradona AKA troprogue
PS This is Christina Caradona and we <3 her.

6 Reasons Not To Date The Cool Girl:

Princess Diaries Dork Out

1. The constant facade they keep up will eventually bore you. The Cool Girl, you will realise, is constantly keeping up a front (though it seems effortless). It's not normal to never geek out or embarrass yourself. It's not human. And around this girl, you'll feel the need to hide your inner geek. That ain't healthy. You can't be completely yourself around the Cool Girl without feeling uncomfortable.


2. The Cool Girl always wants to party. Who doesn't love a party? Parties are awesome. But we all crash at some point and crave movie nights, pizza and bed. NOT THE COOL GIRL. The Cool Girl thrives off attention from other people. And raving. They love the raves. Films and bed do not give her the attention she needs. Don't expect to be pigging out and chillin’ with the Cool Girl. You'll never break her party spirit.

Taylor Swift Flirting
3. Her flirtatious personality will become irritating. That smile and laugh which used to make you tingle every time? Nope. Not anymore. Once you date her, you'll realise that smile is not reserved for only you. The constant flirting with anyone and everyone will drive you insane. But you can’t blame the Cool Girl for this - she can’t help it. She was born this way.

katy perry boring conversation how i met your mother
4. The adventurous stories that you thought you could listen to a million times eventually become dull. You'll have to hear her repeat the same goddamn stories (which used to impress you), to everyone else and their granny. Oh please, tell me again how you got smashed at that full moon party when you went to Thailand for the fifteenth billion time. Or how you had this really deep chat with a native in Bali while watching the sun rise. She's a constant entertainer. You'll find yourself wondering when she'll change the record.

dakota fanning no one likes me
5. The Cool Girl is secretly insecure. 98% of the time, the girl who seems the happiest and coolest in the room, constantly partying and the centre of attention is usually pretty insecure. I mean, you've gotta be pretty unhappy with yourself to always keep up a front, drink and laugh 24 frickin’ 7. The insecurities, you'll discover, will come out in weird ways. Everything you originally fell in love with will be shattered into a thousand pieces. That's right, ladies: the most confident person in the world is probably one of the most insecure.

Princess Jasmine Aladdin
6. The relationship is never equal. You'll find yourself so in love, or rather, obsessed with this chick, but beware, it's never fully reciprocated. It's obvious to everyone that you'd be willing to swim through shark infested waters for her, yet you'll find this girl will never fight for you. The Cool Girl is way too cool to show a silly thing like emotion, or let her guard down.

P.S. She’s probably also straight. Bye Felicia! (Joking and NOT BITTER at all).

So trust us when we say to go for the girl who's comfortable with herself and her flaws instead. The one who isn't afraid to say “I am a massive geek. I like fishing. I snort when I laugh. I obsessively watch Animal Planet in my spare time”. She's the one you want to keep. She is the one who will go out with you at weekends, but will also happily have a week watching Netflix and eating a disgusting amount of takeaways with you. And that's the girl we all deserve.



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